Life sucks, BUT

I've gotta be honest--I don't know if this blogging thing is for me. I love to write, and I think that a blog is a great mode of self-expression in this technological age, but after only one post I am already starting to doubt myself. I just don't know if I can paint an accurate picture of Sara through a few words and photos, and the last thing I want is for people to get a false impression of who I am (I've got Facebook for that). So now if you will please bear with me while I attempt to expand on some of the things I wrote in my first entry.

1) "Life sucks. It really, really does." I believe it is better to be honest about the negative things in our lives than to sugarcoat them or try to repress them. I do not think that MY life sucks, but that life, in general, is extremely difficult. If I did not feel that way, I suppose that I would be happy living on earth forever and never meeting Jesus in heaven. The bad things in my life make the joy that much deeper, and conquering challenges through extreme adversity is much more rewarding than getting life handed to you on a silver platter. Although sometimes I do wish for this:


2) "These are scary, unfamiliar emotions that are difficult for me to warm up to..." Without going too in-depth right now, let me just say that over the past eight years, my husband and I have taken "survival mode" to a whole new level. Don't get me wrong--I know that the early years of marriage, parenting, and career are difficult for pretty much everyone. But the truth is, Jason and I made naive decisions early in our journey that triggered an unrelenting onslaught of difficult circumstances, a string of "bad luck," if you will, that seemed to have NO END. Bracing ourselves for the next obstacle became a way of life for us, and boy was it exhausting. The good news is that I think we are finally starting to see beyond the next five minutes and look forward to what the future might hold. I can't help but be just a little bit suspicious though....

'You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.'

Ah, yes--thanks Sherlock. My past and my future are two very different things, especially now that I can bring the wisdom of the former into the latter. Elementary!

Beginning Again

The first time I tried to write a blog, it ended up being of a venting post for all of my frustrations, instead of a narrative that people might actually enjoy reading. Basically it was a self-indulgence, and after two entries I realized that I probably wouldn’t want anybody besides my husband reading my cynical rants. I realize now that blogs, unlike personal journals, should reflect both the positive and the negative things in our lives. Today I start sharing some of the things that life has taught me. Plain and simple.

I do need to start off with a negative statement, however, so I hope you’ll forgive me. Maybe if I get this out of the way first, I’ll have an easier time staying positive. (No promises!) Anyways… Life sucks. It really, really does. Okay, done. 

 

Seriously, these 28 years, and mainly the past eight, life has taken me on an incredibly difficult journey. I have learned SO much, yet it was not without a great cost. Now that things are starting to get better, I am actually starting to feel thankful, even a little hopeful. These are scary, unfamiliar emotions that are difficult for me to warm up to, however weird that sounds.

Another thing that I disliked about my first blog (if you can count two entries as a blog), was that I was trying too hard to be cool and bad-ass and sarcastic. Though there are definitely times when I am those things, sometimes even all three at once, the real me is unfortunately much more boring. Deal with it, people! Even if nobody besides my husband reads THIS blog, at least I know that I'm being real.

I have nothing more to say for now, so thank you for reading my first post.